Myth 1: Child sexual abuse occurs mostly in the uneducated class and slum areas.

Fact: Child sexual abuse is not the problem of a certain area or class. It is not like poverty or illiteracy, which are the problems, of a certain class. Research from all over the world has shown that CSA can occur in all socio economic classes and in families with varying educational levels. Locally, over past six years, Aangan has received around 400 letters in response to articles published in the US magazine by the name of "Our bodies, Our selves". These letters were mostly from children who could read and understand English. At the same time, our work with lower socioeconomic groups ( katchi abadis ) has also substantiated a high incidence of CSA.

Myth 2: Boys are almost never sexually abused.

Fact: Many of us assume that victims are only girls, and parents often feel relieved that

they don't have to bother about protecting boys. In reality, boys are as vulnerable to child sexual abuse as girls. It is only that sometimes abuse in girls is more likely to be found out. We believe that in Pakistan , boys are at a higher risk than in the west. This is because culturally boys are expected to take care of themselves and left unprotected.

Myth No 3 : Sometimes it is the child's fault if he/she is sexually abused.
Fact : Sometimes children are blamed for the abuse. It is wrongly assumed that the child may have acted or dressed up in such a way which could have provoked or deserved the abuse.

None of this is true. Child sexual abuse is NEVER the fault of the child. Children do not relate to anyone in a sexual way unless they are made to do so or are exposed to such things. Even if they enjoy the act it does not mean that they are at fault, it simply indicates that their bodies are functioning normally. The responsibility of the abuse ALWAYS lies with the older person, who knows that such things can have an impact on children's emotional health and has more power over the situation. They are also able to understand fully the moral and legal implications of such a relationship.

At times, children may go back to an adult who has abused them in return of some favor such as money, gifts etc. However, the responsibility still lies with the adult who makes use of the child's vulnerability.

Myth No 4: It a victim of abuse talks about his/her experience, it does more harm than good.

Fact:   People often believe that if a victim avoids talking about the abuse, it will go away and every thing will be all right again. However, clinical experience has shown that it is very difficult for the child to forget. He/she may seem to be leading a perfectly normal life and look quite all right, but if a child is not encouraged to talk and unburden himself, he/she may grow up with a lot of suppressed pain and negative feelings which may cause him/her problems later on.

It is very important that the child talks to someone who supports and understands. Studies have shown that children, who were given emotional support on disclosure, were able to cope with the abuse better than those who did not get any support. The ability to deal with the abuse further deteriorated in cases where children were either not believed or blamed for the abuse.

Myth No 5: Abusers are usually strangers to the child.

Fact: Abusers are often known to the child. Many times abuse occurs by people the child trusts and respects, such as uncles, fathers, family friends etc. In an analysis of 200 CSA letters, the following trends were found:

The above mentioned trends shatter the common myth that sex offenders are usually strangers to the child. Rather they are the people known to the child and are those whom the child trusts.

Myth 6: Sexual abuse is usually accompanied by violence or force.

Fact: This is a myth due to which a lot of us may be fooled, because if a child does not seem hurt, we may think that the child had encouraged the abuse in some way or had taken part in it willingly. Abusers are very clever people; they do not want anybody to know what they are doing. In order to do that they may bribe the child with sweets or even extra attention. They may tell him/her again and again to keep the abuse their own little secret. They may use threats and manipulate the situation, but rarely use physical force, because, if they do so, a chance that others might find out about it increases.

Myth 7: Very young children are not abused. It usually happens to adolescents.

Fact: Children as young as 2 months old have been known to be abused. 6 - 10 years, is reported as the most vulnerable age for children.

Myth 8: Abusers look abnormal and mentally ill.

Fact:  Abusers can be people who appear quite normal and may be living perfectly normal lives. These people could be rich or poor, educated or un-educated. They may even be people holding important and responsible posts and people may trust them totally. They could be judges, teachers, doctors, nurses or lawyers.

Myth 9: Often children make up stories about being abused.

Fact: It takes a lot of courage for a child to come out and talk about a thing like abuse. Why would a child deliberately go through so much embarrassment, awkwardness and discomfort? Moreover, the child knows that what he/she is saying could cause him/her or the abuser a lot of problems, so it is very unlikely that the child would make up a story like this.

Myth 10: Women cannot be abusers.

Fact: Women can also be abusers, although their ratio is much less than that of men. Aangan has received letters in which abusers are older female cousins, aunts, maid servants, teachers or in a few cases even real mothers etc.